Transitions

Oct 6, 2012 by

As summer turns into fall and the leaves are changing we find ourselves in transition yet again.  Now being in Southern California, we don’t get the nice leaves changing colors like other areas in country and the fact that it was over 100 degrees a couple days ago, the change is a little less drastic, but its in the air nonetheless.

How do you handle transition in your life?

In addition to the changing of the seasons I am in the middle of some big transitions in my life.  As is inherent in the life of a tech start up, I currently find myself without a job and looking for my next adventure.  At the same time I am in the process of moving my mom down to California to enjoy a little sunshine with us.

I am very fortunate as I view change as a new opportunity or the next great challenge to take on, but not everyone is like me.  Sometimes change is hard.  Sometimes change is frightening as we may not know what comes next.

I don’t know is an acceptable answer

When we don’t know or can’t see our future clearly we can tend to freak out.  Sometimes we freak ourselves out.  We want assurances, we want a plan, we want safety, and we want answers to all our questions, but sometimes the answer is “I don’t know”.   And that is a fine answer.

People hate “I don’t know” as an answer.  You can see them squirm in their uneasiness when they hear it.  As we move into a post modern world we transition from a worldview that said everything can and should be defined and understood.  We are just now beginning to understand that sometimes we don’t have all the answers.  There is a journey filled with experiences we must travel through to find the truth.

I am comfortable with “I don’t know” because I know its not the final answer.  Its not the end.  It’s the point at which you find yourself on your journey to finding the truth.  Be OK with “I don’t know”, but don’t give up seeking the answers and don’t give up the journey.

Very few decisions are permanent or can’t be fixed

Sometimes we find ourselves paralyzed by the choices before us.   What if I choose X over Y?  What if its the wrong choice?  What if I hate it?  What if…what if…what if?

We freeze up thinking of all the things that could go wrong, but don’t continue thinking through those decisions to understand that very few if any of those decisions are permanent.  You can fix most anything if you have to.

A friend of mine is contemplating canceling their cable TV subscription, which I recommended after hearing they were paying over 200 dollars a month.  I followed up asked them if they had done it yet and they said they didn’t because they were scared.

Now in this scenario, whats the worst case that could happen?   If you really needed cable again could you just call them back and sign up again.  They would probably even give you a huge discount for doing so!  Almost nothing is permanent and most everything can be fixed.  Don’t let fear stop you from trying something new.  If you hate it you almost certainly can revert back to the way things were before.

Don’t cry because its over, smile because it happened

I love this quote from Dr. Seuss.  Often we hate change or transition because we don’t want the fun to end.  We don’t want to start school, but rather chase that endless summer.  Take that quote to heart and don’t be sad because the season is at an end, but look back at all the fun you had and cherish those memories.  I will miss the great people I worked with at my last job, but I am so thankful I got to work with them.  I now have new friendships and great memories and will keep in contact with them moving forward.

Plan for fun

As you move forward with the change in your life plan out what fun you will have.  As fall approaches I am ready for ski season to be here.   And its hard to be excited season when its 108 degrees out, but I try.  Plan some fun things you will do during and after this transition in your life.  Are you moving?  Plan some fun things for you and your family in the new city you are moving to.  Take the sting and fear away from change and transition and replace it with challenges and new opportunities to have fun in different ways.

Ben…

And for those of you lucky enough to be where the seasons are changing and the cool air is moving in, here is a great and very simple 4 bean chili recipe for you.  Enjoy

4 bean chili

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